If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
