I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
