Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
you had me at cake vodka
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
