she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
