love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
