She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I love you.
Bad choice
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
