Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
