I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
