i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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