oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
