she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
