JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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