So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
