I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
