he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
