then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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