we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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