I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
