our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
