she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
