Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
