: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Dude my mom stole all your condoms
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
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