I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
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