I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize