dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
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