just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
