Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
