5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
