Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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