I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Randomize
