love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Nicole vs. Life
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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