I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
