So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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