Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
