Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Randomize
