How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I just cut my nipple shaving
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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