she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
