im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
