i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Randomize
