my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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