I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
