Heybabeimwearingurpanties
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
When did angry sex become our thing?
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
