nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
