For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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