i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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