I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
