He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
