I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
