At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
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