I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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